From yesterday's post on Facebook...

On this day of the 9 /11 memorial, I feel not only for those who lost their lives and the families that were effected by the terrible events of that day but also for what has happened in the ten years since that fateful day. Days of horror followed by numbing reality. Slowly, day by day, things began to move toward some sort of normalcy. Not long after that I introduced an ex-girlfriend to one of my pals and they have been married almost 10 years. Sierra On-Line, the company I worked for on that day, closed their doors mid way through the decade. I worked for a short time at a start up company while dating the lovely Holly McClue and bought a new house. After that start up closed their doors I returned to working for Microsoft on several contracts. Holly committed suicide. Throughout all of that my art work evolution prospered. I became faster and wiser about art and my career. The last several years many close friends have passed away and I've made new friends. I stand back and wonder what the next ten years will bring. Then I remember this quote from Charles Dickens:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Into that gentle good night.

A new painting at last. Based on a drawing I did just over 3 years ago. Part of series of sorts. This is the first one to be painted. There will be more from this series but not for a while. Other new art coming soon...

-MC

Enatai Beach August 2009

I used to kayak a lot and ride my bike here a lot before I met Holly. The beach area is where I met Holly. The water this day was a bit on the choppy side to say the least. I had 3 foot rollers lifting up my boat and taking it a lot further. It was like surfing. Fun except when you are going cross cut in the water. I have more pix to post very soon. Stay tuned!
-Mike

Remembering Holly McClure on her birthday.

June 12th was Holly's birthday. Peace to you baby! The blue profile painting was one of her favorites that I painted. So I am posting this in her honor today.

Another NEW painting!

A blast from the past in a way. I actually finished this painting in March of this year but haven't shown it yet.
This was done from a sketchbook page dating back to July of 2006. Holly and I were at a park in Bellevue on the 4th taking it easy and enjoying the day with a picnic. I brought my sketchbook and she brought a book to read. When I was almost finished with the sketch I asked her what she thought and she said, "Can you put a little white scoty dog in one of the squares?" I did just that and promised her that if I ever made a painting of this that I would include the little white dog. And there it is the lower right corner.

Band Leader

Lots of symbolism here. I'll leave it up to you to intrepet but anyone interested in my take, write and I'll fill you in.
Here in the PNW we are awaiting some sort of return of SUN, but it ain't happening. WIth that, I'm looking for a flight to Mexico for next month. Adios Amigos!!
Enjoy!
-MC

The Wake

(This first part is from last Sunday, so excuse the references to "Today")
About 4pm on Sunday November 9th 2008, I got it in my head to buy some flowers and take them to where Holly and I were often seen in public.
So I bought a dozen roses and drove down the hill from my house to Coulon Park. Holly and I used to walk there every day that she would stay with me and afterward, in the summer or if the weather was nice, we'd sit on a hill and watch out onto the lake. We'd have long talks there and snack on grapes or sandwiches we'd bought. I went to a pier and one by one, threw out 10 of the twelve roses onto the water. One of them landed on a big rock below. The others scattered in the water. The one on the rock might have been Holly symbolically. The rest of the roses on the water drifted over to the spot where we used to always sit. That's when I started crying. After a half hour, it started to get dark. I was dark enough with all the clouds we had today.
I got in my car and drove over to where Holly and I first met. Enatai Beach. It was the half way point from where I used to live and Holly's condo. I always road my bike through there and that one day I stopped and met Holly. I walked over to the spot where we met, third fence poll from the end of the cement dock where she was sitting in her chaise lounge. I placed the remaining two roses on that spot and thought back to when we had met. Tears were streaming out of my eyes by then. I looked around and it was so beautiful in the oncoming darkness of the evening. It was 5:30 and I heard a noise behind me. There were two long kayaks being pulled out of the water onto the beach by 6 people. I stayed for a while longer thinking of Holly and left to get some tissue to blow my nose with. I cried all the way home.
My eyes were still wet while writing this.
Hope you are well. I am embracing Holly's memory today.

The day after that was the official date of Holly's death. After work I met up with my friend Anne, who knew Holly well and we went to see a movie. (A terrible thing call "Rachel getting married") and had some dinner. That helped with the day but I still felt bad inside.
Wednesday night I went to the SCBWI meeting and that was fun. Thursday our bosses at Microsoft decided to give us a free evening of pool at a swanky new Billiard palour in Bellevue. Free food and drinks. That was also much fun. I thank them for being so kind to me on this week.

Holly McClure's suicide

Monday, November 10th 2008 is the one year anniversary of Holly McClure's suicide. It's been a very rough year since then but recently I think I've actually feeling better and can see daylight. Holly was the sweetest woman I've ever known. She cared for me more than any woman I've been with. (With the exception of my mother and sister) I loved her the best I could and it wasn't enough to save her from herself,... the demons in her mind that she fought bravely. I can't imagine what she felt or thought but I do know that it didn't stop her from being so loving. Perhaps it was her attempt at a last grasp, holding on to life. She would try her best to help me with my life and I did the same for her, even though there were times when she wouldn't allow me to help her change. We all resist that from time to time. I thought if I chip away slowly at those things that she needed help with, then it might make her life better. Now that she is gone forever, I'll never know if she could have over come those things. I don't want to make this date an anniversary to remember. Honor her surely but a suicide is not something to wear on one's sleeve for too long. I'd rather celebrate her life on the occasion of her birth then to wallow and be held down on the day of her death, by her own hand. I don't know how she would have wanted it but I know what I want from all of this. I will rise from this tragedy and move forward in my life. I am alive now and will make the best of my life without her. That does not mean that I will forget her, but I have to love and be loved in order to enjoy life. This I promise myself. If there is anything that Holly's suicide has taught me is to appreciate what I have. Continue to give to others. Love when I can. Have fun. Learn as I always have done. Create, play, laugh, celebrate, enjoy myself with no regrets from here on out. I invite anyone who reads this to do the same. Your life is just this one time. Don't squander it!
Love and peace to you. Appreciate the day always, good or bad.

Doodle bash!

I love doing them doodles during meetings and here's another recent concoction! The week has gone by too fast and here it is Thursday already. Greek dining at Santorini's after work on Friday, then off to Seattle to sketch at one of my favorite coffee joints. I've got to hustle if I want to finish this graphic novel. Anyway enjoy the doodle while I see what can be done about the new cold/dark/rainy weather that came to town today and looking like it wants to stay for a while.

The Trees

Another doodle from my workplace. Hey, it keeps me awake during meetings.

Check out some new photos I've posted on my "Mobile Me" Mac site. I was at Greenlake all afternoon today. Sunday the 7th, which is two days away from the one year anniversary of Holly's first suicide attempt. But last year it was on a Sunday so I'm not feeling very comfortable today. I still have Holly moments every day and when I'm not at work it's all day long. Sometimes at work I have memories hit me and I have to focus extra hard so I don't start crying at work. Microsoft doesn't like crybabies.
I rode around Greenlake all afternoon and took pictures. I took Holly there every Sunday that was sunny. We walked around the lake a lot and used to pick up a snack at the corner bakery, sit outside in the sun and talk and laugh. She always made sure we were comfortable and well taken care of.
It's hard going there on Sundays but since Holly doesn't have a headstone anywhere that I can go to and talk to her, I've settled on Greenlake as that place. Many of my memories of her are associated with that park, so it's like I'm visiting her.
Now I have to get through the next big anniversary. That's going to be even tougher than this one.

Be well, enjoy life and keep summer in your heart.
-MC

Monk Devil!

I've got a bunch of new doodles that I've been doing at my new gig at MS and I want to start sharing them here with you. I don't know if this played into this past weekend. Let me explain. Last Friday was the day a year ago that Holly went into the hospital for a surgery that she really didn't need. It was the beginning of the end and the emotional part of it I tried to avoid over the weekend but it hit me hard on the way home from work. Holly didn't come back from the hospital. Her demons took over and nothing was the same after that. I miss you sweetie.

Memorial birthday pix for Holly McClure

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Some favorite photos of my late girlfriend Holly McClure for her birthday today. I'll be playing pool for her at The Garage in Seattle on Capital Hill. She loved to play pool as well as Scrabble. I can't play Scrabble alone but I can play pool alone. This is for you sweetie. I miss you and love you.

Forgotten

This is an extra post today for Illustration Friday's topic "Forgotten". If I remember each week I'll try to post something for this every week. This sketch is from a graphic novel that I'm writing and illustrating. It's in memory of my late girlfriend Holly who killed herself last November and it seems to me that I along with her sister Robin are the ones who are charged with remembering Holly. This is for you baby.

Please leave comments.

New Art Show!

I have a NEW Art Show starting January 15th (till February 15th) at theCloud City Coffee in Maple Leaf(at the corner of 88th and Roosevelt)8801 Roosevelt Way NE,Seattle, WA 98115

There won't be an opening night but you can drop by anytime and see my work. I hope to have a few new ones that weren't at the Fremont show.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I for one would like to close out the year as quickly as possible. It was a very tragic year and this illustration says it all for me. Hope anyone reading this has a great New Year! Let's make it a good one.